Everyone has their own unique love story. Each of us possesses certain treasured personal memories that make our own love stories one-of-a-kind.
Long before Internet dating services were among the main methods of finding that special someone, matchmaking was a profession in some societies. These matchmakers each had their own method for placing two people or two lists of people who enhanced each other’s finest qualities. For a price, a man and a woman met each other.

Typically, their first encounter and sometimes each courting session were scrupulously chaperoned by senior and high-ranking members of the bride’s family. Virtue was at a premium, and a young woman’s honor was highly prized. The presence and serious duties of chaperones and other interested parties was to make sure nothing untoward happened before wedding vows were exchanged in front of an enthusiastic gathering of witnesses.

For a great number of young women, marriage was a career. Marriage was what many young women were primarily groomed for as they approached adulthood. Females all over the world were engaged in the study of domestic science and home economics.

Of course, times have changed and marriage these days is typically more 50/50. Young females no longer focus only on becoming good wives and mothers. So many career and life choices are possible today while still allowing time for love, marriage, and children if women so desire. Even courtship rituals are practically unrecognizable when compared to those in the past.

Today in mainstream life it is highly uncommon to be a member of an arranged courtship or marriage. Most people seem to be able to find a mate for themselves. Even though .com companies are willing to perform a great deal of the legwork, it is still up to us as humans to make the final decision. There still has to be that special chemistry happening between two people for love to bloom and grow.

As we move forward into the 21st century, there are fewer and fewer marriages arranged at birth. Although some societies still engage in this practice, it does not offer a guarantee that two star-crossed lovers will be happy. The natural process of selecting your own love is not a guarantee either, but finding your own soul mate is probably best when left up to the searcher herself. Even if love and life are uncertain, most of us want to create our own love story, write our own script, and select our own leading man. It only makes sense in today’s world where women are making their own life choices that we should make one of the most important decisions in our lives.

It is truly with a sigh of relief that most of us no longer need to provide a dowry at the time of marriage. Dowries in any form today are much more relaxed than their predecessors. As the average marriage age for women increases, many brides already have a certain amount of belongings as they approach the altar. Because women often build or start their careers before entering into marriage, many of us already own furniture, kitchenware, automobiles, bank accounts, and sometime homes or other property. “Old- time” dowries usually included real estate; money; an upgrade in social status when possible; home furnishings and other valuables; and/or a lifetime’s supply of linens and other dry goods.

Another method of finding a husband was a serious endeavor at one time. Women in the British Isles were long ago allowed to ask a gentleman for his hand in marriage. This tradition is still enjoyed today but with less serious implications. Those young maidens in “jolly old England” often dressed in men’s trousers and pursued their prey. If a prospective groom denied the want-to-be bride, the law often intervened on the young woman’s behalf. In early cases, magistrates usually fined the young man who was often forced to buy his unsuccessful female suitor a new gown or other useful gift.

At some point monetary fines were levied, which most bachelors gladly paid. Still, the stigma of being refused and rebuffed by your own true-but-unrequited love must have been shattering to Victorian female sensibilities.
This style of procuring a husband was called Sadie Hawkins. During the Victorian Age, a large and interesting number of postcards depicted desperate love-deprived women waiting for the New Year’s Eve clock to strike one minute after midnight so they could pounce on unsuspecting bachelors during Leap Year. In some societies, this practice was only allowed during Leap Years on the 29th of February. Al Capp later brought Sadie Hawkins into his “Dog Patch” cartoon series along with Daisy Mae and Li’l Abner. Sadie Hawkins was known as the homeliest girl in the hollow, and her life’s goal was to pursue and catch a husband.

In its present tense, Sadie Hawkins is still often observed but with a much lighter tone and without marriage as its final goal. Today, the tradition of Sadie Hawkins Day is often celebrated in high schools and on college campuses in the form of a social event such as a Valentine’s Day ball or homecoming dance.

Change is good. If we are able to find our own mates today, we might be building better futures for marriage. It may be true that not all marriages last forever. Some flounder early on, while others last a good long time. Many marriages and the love stories that underscore them endure for a lifetime.

Looking for love is not always easy, and sometimes it’s downright elusive. I found the love of my life when I wasn’t looking and when marriage was the last thing on my mind. If you are blessed to have found a soul mate, hang on to him. Don’t try to change him too much.

Some expert once said that marriage is a 50/50 proposition. It seems to be a 100/100 venture with both parties willing to give all they’ve got to keep that love story alive.