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| Time flies when you’re having fun. And sometimes time even flies when times are tough. It certainly seems true that “Days are long but years are short.” Thirty-nine years ago on May 16, 1969 at 4:47 p.m., I met my husband. In actuality, he belonged to another girl and I think he was quite smitten with her. What young man wouldn’t have fallen head over heels for her? She was glamorous and fun, but she was also fickle. I counted on that fickleness when he and I were introduced. If it’s possible to hear wedding bells at the first sight of one’s future husband, those bells were ringing loud and clear that day. I’ve asked him since if he heard wedding bells on that May afternoon long ago. “No, I didn’t hear any bells,” he has told me. While I was listening to those imaginary bells (which by the way, really did ring a little over a year later), I waited. Then I waited some more. Eventually, the romance between my friend and my future husband lost its luster. Now please understand, I do not like comparing myself to a spider, but I have to admit that my behavior resembled just that. I waited some more. Eventually, my prey began to notice me. Aha! It was unbelievable that he would notice a plain old farm girl like me. I was not glamorous. I doubt if I was ever thought of as a barrel of fun. Being too tall and too thin and plain are not qualities that inspire most young men. Remarkably, this young man was drawn to my sense of independence. So, if beauty is indeed skin deep, maybe it’s what lies beneath that is most important in the long run. Eventually, I gave up my “spider ways” and just let nature take its course. Bear in mind that nature stepped in after much waiting. Just as I was about to forego the waiting, waiting, waiting…well, you can guess what happened. We began dating…just a little at first. Like most couples, we began to spend more time together. We found that we actually liked each other. Love does strange things to a person. Before long, I didn’t feel much like an ugly duckling. I didn’t feel like a beauty queen, but I did notice that my self-worth was much improved. Excuse me for kissing and telling, but this young man was the first man on earth to say to me, “I love you.” Did I like that? Yes, I did. I liked the sound and the feel of it. I knew in my heart that this guy was “the one.” Everyone loves love and everyone loves falling in love. It’s the staying in love that can be tricky. Had I known then what I know now, would I have married this young man? You bet I would have. But there is no way to tell a 19-year-old girl that her life will go down some slippery slopes and that there will be detours and roadblocks along the way. A woman that young cannot fathom that there will be events so profound that life will never be the same again. How can you tell a young girl in love that there will be challenges so great in life that even her faith will be tested? Who would want to tell her? Thirty-nine years is a long time. Thirty-nine years loving the same person is a long time too, but that time is tempered by the faith we have in each other. Like everyone else, there have been days I wished I wasn’t married, and I’m sure there were at least as many days that my sweetheart wished he had been elsewhere on May 16, 1969. But all in all, it’s been a pretty good run. By the time we marched down the aisle (on the hottest day of the year in a church with no air-conditioning), a few realities were becoming apparent. Suddenly it dawned on me that I would be with this fellow for the rest of my life. Naturally, worry set in. What if I ran out of things to talk about? He should be so lucky! What if he wanted me to cook a real meal? We were pretty hungry for the first year or two while I learned to cook a few basic meals. Would I be expected to balance a checkbook? Luckily, he’s a math whiz and balances anyone’s checkbook at the drop of a hat! What if he had hoodwinked me and he wasn’t the wonderful person I thought he was? There was nothing to worry about. He has become a stellar husband—better than I deserve. Through the years, there have been ups and downs, but thankfully, there have been more ups than down times. Amazingly through it all, I’ve never wished to return to the halcyon days of young love. It was fun and exciting, but I like this version of love. Young love always wants more, but mature love appreciates what is. Is there passion for people our age? Of course there is, but there’s also mutual respect and the knowledge of each other. That is what life seems to be about. Eventually, passion calms down. Married life takes on a more sensible pace with its own reassuring rhythm. The passion known by younger couples is replaced by a sense of knowing the other person almost better than you know yourself. Maybe the knowing and the understanding of your mate and the relationship you share is the best part of marriage. After all this time, he’s still the one. Someone wrote a song called “Still the One.” If you get a chance to listen to it, you’ll know what I’m talking about. A few months ago, our 40th anniversary of our first sighting of each other came and went. We were busy taking care of grandchildren, cooking meals, gardening, and doing loads and loads of laundry. The day passed without fanfare and hoopla. We were quietly together without a gala celebration. Maybe that’s as it should be. |
Still the One! |
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