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| Many of us are or will be impacted by an aging parent. Who will take care of Mom if she gets sick? Can Dad afford a nursing home? Who gets the family business or the house or the wedding rings? Most people operate in a reactionary mode. A phone call comes in the middle of the night, and suddenly a parent needs care or difficult decisions must be made. Adult children may not know what their parents want regarding their care. The situation can be confusing, stressful, and chaotic. Jeff and Debi Sellers’ passion for these issues stems from their own experiences. Both of their mothers and Debi’s father experienced sudden health problems that left family members scrambling to deal with practical, financial, and emotional issues. Out of these experiences created a motivation to begin a vision called Aging Parents Planning. It exists to help others plan for the future, they say. Jeff is a Certified Financial Planner® and Chartered Life Underwriter®. Debi is a licensed health and life insurance agent and a Parent Care Specialist. They have been married for 30 years and have worked together for almost as long at Sellers and Associates, a certified financial planning firm in Davenport. Planning for aging encompasses health and financial uncertainties. “This is not about what is happening now,” stresses Debi, “but what might happen in the future.” This may include having a strategy for how a parent will be cared for and how that care will be paid for. It can include care for a spouse, property division, and business succession. The plan won’t cover every possible development, but it will provide a framework. If something happens, the family will know what to do, she explains. Aging parents bring about issues that also require a strategy, Jeff adds. Jeff and Debi help families implement one. The process begins with a conversation. “When something feels very big and complex it is important to just make a start,” advises Debi. Often families don’t know what issues need to be discussed, and understandably, it may be uncomfortable for some people. Jeff, Debi, and their network of professionals help get the conversation started. They encourage the discussion of “What if?” What if a spouse becomes ill? What if long-term care is needed? What if the children live too far away to be of assistance? And of course there are many other concerns that are unique to each individual family. It is important to review with your attorney legal documents like a will and a Power of Attorney in place in order to evaluate the financial picture and to look at family dynamics and to make sure they are updated. For example, most people want to live at home for as long as possible will. A child who lives nearby may be a vital part of that scenario. Families and couples should determine who lives near enough and if they are willing and able to step in when needed. Jeff also encourages people to compile a directory of assets and phone numbers of financial and legal contacts. If this information is organized in advance, it will minimize a lot of stress when something happens. According to Aging Parents Planning, 70% of families will deal with a situation where an elderly parent needs long-term care. Many of us feel that we don’t need to worry about this because we are healthy. Jeff and Debi point out that people who are healthy now are especially likely to need long-term care because they will live the longest. One of the fastest-growing age groups is 85 years and older. Most people are left to pay for long term healthcare expenses themselves. One client he worked with had to delay her own retirement for 10 years while caring for her mother. Employers are wise to acknowledge this need. Debi says it used to be that child care necessitated flexibility from employers. Now it is adult children who need time to take their parents to doctors’ appointments or who need to leave over their lunch hour to ensure that a parent who lives alone has eaten or taken medication. “A lot of work time is compromised because of elder parent care,” Debi points out. Aging parents often fear becoming a burden to their children, yet failing to plan may result in exactly that. The key, stresses Debi, is to prepare before something happens. Jeff agrees that the most important thing for families to do is to take action. Just make a start. “Doing so is truly an act of love,” Jeff says. “People don’t realize what they inadvertently do when they fail to plan,” he continues. “The burden placed on the family can be enormous.” On their Web site, www.agingparentsplanning.com, Jeff and Debi tell their own stories and offer resources to help families. They help direct and coordinate the aging parent planning process by way of information and videos to encourage everyone who visits to take that first step of action. Community workshops are being planned that will explore what conversations are necessary and what needs to be in place. Jeff and Debi want people to get comfortable with the subject. They say that families will feel better making decisions that are based on what their parent or spouse wants rather than trying to guess. In the future, Jeff and Debi hope to spread their message beyond the Quad Cities area. They even reach out the various groups to speak on the subject. One family they have already helped is Judy Fitzgibbon’s parents and siblings. “Jeff impressed my parents as a very honest person,” she says. “Jeff worked with my mom after Dad passed away. In fact, Jeff promised Dad that he would look after Mom.” Judy’s mother is now in a nursing home, but Judy and her siblings continue to receive assistance from Jeff. “He is so patient,” Judy continues. “He will explain things two or even three times to make sure I understand. He is our right-hand man.” Debi comments, “You plan for your child’s college, you plan to buy a car, you plan for retirement. We should plan for the rest of our lives, especially for the benefit of our loved ones. It is one of the most loving, selfless acts we can easily plan to do.” “Women get this. In a world where the majority of caregivers are women, now’s the time to take this opportunity,” Debi says. Aging Parents Planning is located at Sellers & Associates at 4215 East 60 Street in Davenport. They can be reached at 563-322-4429. |
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